The System is Abstract, Luckily, So Am I

Chapter 218 : Lip Reading is Great, Gotta Learn Lip Reading

Looking at the excited Zhou Youwei, Lin Li blinked.

*Is that really necessary?*

*So Little Zhou had wanted to spar with me for a long time too?*

*You should have said so earlier! Given our close, sister-like relationship, I definitely would have smiled and rejected you without hesitation—who in their right mind goes around fighting old men? If it weren't for the system, I wouldn't have made such a cheap request.*

But for the current Lin Li, this was absolutely good news.

It was a two-way street.

"That's great, Grandpa Zhou. I was worried you wouldn't agree. Shall we start now?" Lin Li couldn't wait to beat up the old man.

If others could outlast old ladies in matches, Lin Li could certainly outlast an old man!

But Zhou Youwei quickly calmed down and took a vigilant step back.

Lin Li: "?"

"I need a little time to prepare. I... I need to adjust myself to my best condition," Zhou Youwei said after carefully choosing his words.

Right now, Zhou Youwei hadn't seen through Lin Li's trap yet, so he absolutely couldn't follow the other party's rhythm. Better safe than sorry.

"Is it... really that serious?"

Lin Li was a bit confused. He rubbed the back of his neck and muttered softly.

Zhou Youwei sneered inwardly. *Acting all lost like this, he's definitely showing his true colors.*

"How about this, let's meet here at nine o'clock to spar. How does that sound?" Zhou Youwei narrowed his eyes, sizing up Lin Li, continuing to press his advantage.

"Sure."

Lin Li had no objections. It was the perfect time to go grab some breakfast.

...

At nine o'clock on a holiday, the community park had even fewer people than at six in the morning.

Lin Li didn't cut it close; he came down at 8:50, only to find Zhou Youwei already waiting there.

"Grandpa Zhou, should we start early or wait until nine?" Lin Li asked.

"Let's do it now."

Zhou Youwei nodded with an unfathomable expression.

Everything was ready; all he needed was the evidence of Lin Li's crime.

"Alright, Grandpa. Let's get the rules straight first. It's a friendly spar, we stop at first contact. If either party falls to the ground or says the words 'I yield', they lose. Is that okay?"

Lin Li stretched his body and loosened his joints while confirming the rules.

He didn't want to actually cause an accident.

However, Zhou Youwei looked visibly healthy, and he hadn't pulled a muscle in a long time, so he must have been taking good care of his body recently.

"Just start already. My old bones are tough enough."

*Still trying to distract me with this nonsense? But this time, I won't fall for it.*

"Alright."

Lin Li stood firm in front of Zhou Youwei, adopted a Wing Chun stance, let out a Bruce Lee-esque "Wataa!" sound, and declared—"Tai Chi, Lin Li!"

Zhou Youwei: "..."

That familiar feeling of his vision going dark returned.

It was back. It was all back.

Lin Li couldn't help it either. The stances taught in the Eight-Section Body Forging Art were mostly for strengthening the body and had almost no combat applications. Actual combat... relied entirely on instinct.

"Come on!" Zhou Youwei shouted loudly.

Today was the day he would expose Lin Li's true face!

Hearing this, Lin Li loosely clenched his fists and charged towards Zhou Youwei.

Zhou Youwei smiled. It was exactly the same as last time!

*Hehe.*

*I bet your gun has no bullets!*

Having anticipated what Lin Li was going to do, Zhou Youwei simply let his arms hang down.

Last time, his subconscious reaction gave Lin Li the chance to fake an injury and scam him. But this time, he wouldn't even raise a hand. Lin Li couldn't possibly go flying backward again, right?

Zhou Youwei's eyes were filled with smugness, a smile curled on his lips, and his ears caught the sound of the wind from the punch.

Wait.

Why was there wind from the punch?

*Oh no! Lin Li's gun actually has bullets!*

When the back of Lin Li's hand landed on Zhou Youwei's shoulder, Zhou Youwei's widened eyes were filled with shock—*Old Lin, you're playing for real?*

And Lin Li's widened eyes were also filled with shock—*Little Zhou, you're faking it?*

*Fuck, Little Zhou, you're trying to pull an insurance scam on me again!*

*After everything we've been through, you're still trying to scam me? You have no respect for your elders! You have no shame! You son of a bitch!*

Lin Li originally thought Zhou Youwei not raising his hands was some sort of profound Tai Chi move!

Now he confirmed it was purely a scamming act. Fortunately, from a safety standpoint, Lin Li hadn't used his full strength from the start, and with the buff of his body control ability, pulling his punch wasn't difficult.

He dissipated almost all the force.

But Zhou Youwei, who was pushed by the back of the depowered hand, hadn't been standing firmly to begin with. He stumbled back a few steps and landed on his butt on the ground.

[Seek out accomplished body cultivators for relevant sparring, and achieve victory or recognition (1/10)]

The task was partially completed in a way Lin Li hadn't expected.

"Grandpa Zhou, are you okay?" But Lin Li's attention wasn't on that right now. He carefully looked at Zhou Youwei, who was hissing in pain, not even daring to step forward rashly: "...I pulled almost all my strength."

He looked around, searching for a security camera that could save his life.

*Eh?*

*Why does it look like there really are cameras set up?*

"I-I'm fine," Zhou Youwei said with a dark face, standing up.

Lin Li breathed a sigh of relief. At least the old man had some dignity.

Realizing that Lin Li was playing for real, Zhou Youwei perked up and started loosening his joints, becoming even more excited. If they were playing for real, he wasn't afraid either!

"I wasn't ready just now. Lin Li, let's go again."

"Grandpa, I'm not playing with you anymore."

Thinking about how that one punch almost cost him Wu Min's house and car, turning him into a second-generation debtor, Lin Li felt a lingering fear. He waved his hand and backed away.

Zhou Youwei: "..."

*I've already taken my pants off and now you're telling me this?*

"Just now was an accident! I wasn't trying to scam you!" Seeing that familiar look in Lin Li's eyes, Zhou Youwei quickly explained.

"Goodbye, Grandpa."

"Get back here!"

"Happy National Day."

Lin Li ran even faster.

Thus, only Zhou Youwei with a face full of dark lines was left in the community park.

Zhou Youwei covered his thoroughly disgraced face. He first went to collect the several cameras he had set up to record the "crime evidence," and finally went to the pavilion to pick up his mounted phone.

*Damn it, it recorded all of my own crime evidence.*

Zhang Fang, who was on a video call with him, saw Zhou Youwei and shook her head earnestly: "Old Zhou, faking accidents to scam people is wrong. Look how badly you scared Little Lin. You went through all this trouble just to show me this?"

Zhou Youwei: "..."

*Could it be... could it be that this was also part of Lin Li's plan?*

Zhou Youwei felt a sharp pain in his side.

...

"No wonder the reward is only one ability. It seems that although the required number of people is a bit high, it's relatively easy to complete," Lin Li pondered after returning home.

The rule that falling to the ground meant losing was set by the two of them, yet the system recognized this kind of sparring victory.

Then it was simple. He just needed to find nine more body cultivators who met the conditions.

After thinking for a moment, Lin Li started searching for nearby gyms on the map.

If those massive muscle bros didn't count as body cultivators, Lin Li didn't know what would.

Actually, Little Zhou counted, and the coaches or even students in those Taekwondo, Sanda, or MMA training classes should probably count too. But dojo-crashing wasn't popular these days. He couldn't just walk up to their door and say, "Hello, I'm here to fight. Oh, by the way, I won't fight anyone without achievements, and I won't fight anyone with too many achievements. Give me someone with minor achievements."

If he ran into a few guys who practiced dirty street fighting styles and immediately went for his nuts, that would be terrible.

Gym bros were easier to deal with and easier to find.

If he met someone with a pointy head, he might even be able to subdue the enemy without fighting.

Moreover, Lin Li believed this was the true purpose of the task. After all, he hadn't learned any formal combat techniques yet.

He rode his bike to the nearest gym. There was a huge slogan written next to it:

"Reading is to speak calmly with idiots; working out is to make idiots speak calmly with you."

It made a lot of sense. Lin Li highly approved.

"Hello." As soon as he walked in, the front desk girl greeted Lin Li. "Is this your first time here? How can I help you?"

The front desk was familiar with regular customers, and Lin Li was looking around as soon as he came in, clearly a first-timer, which was why she asked.

"I want to get a membership."

"Okay, what kind of membership are you planning to get? I recommend our most cost-effective annual pass and lifetime pass. They also come with free personal training sessions..." Seeing a potential sale walk right up to her, the front desk girl's smile grew even brighter.

"A single-use pass."

Front desk girl: "?"

"Oh right, can I use this $1.50 trial voucher from Meituan?"

The sale flew away.

*If you want a trial, just say trial. Why did you say you wanted to get a single-use pass!*

The front desk girl nodded somewhat helplessly: "After purchasing it, just let me scan the QR code. The trial voucher is only valid for a single entry and exit, so please be careful when leaving."

"Thank you." Lin Li fastened the wristband as proof and pushed open the door to the gym.

An English song Lin Li had never heard before was playing, a DJ remix version, which was quite catchy.

There wasn't the stench of sweat Lin Li had expected; there was even a scent resembling Florida Water cologne. A few massive muscle bros were working out. They glanced at Lin Li and then looked away.

Compared to them, even though he had bulked up a bit, he still looked like a bamboo pole.

In front of the floor-to-ceiling mirrors in the gym, a few women wearing yoga pants and sports bras with large chests were striking poses, covered in sweat.

Oda Nobunaga had already proven that instinct cannot be resisted.

Instinct urged Lin Li to take a look, and then Lin Li's eyes widened as he took a second look.

Wait.

Holy fuck.

As everyone knows, yoga pants are very form-fitting.

But when that woman squatted down to take a picture just now, Lin Li actually managed to read her lips.

*(Translator's Note: "Lip reading" is slang for seeing a camel toe).*

*Isn't this borderline pornographic?*

Lin Li looked around at the surrounding muscle men again. Surprisingly, no one was paying attention to this area. There was no lust in their eyes, only a deep desire for muscles.

If Bai Bufan were here, he would definitely talk to him very loudly, or air-dribble a basketball and shoot a fadeaway, or maybe even tackle him to the ground and laugh out loud, all just to attract the attention of this lip-reading sister.

Although that guy always talked about preferring small chests, who the hell believed him? Anyway, Bai Bufan's dick was very honest.

The woman also noticed Lin Li, but after one glance, she didn't look again.

Although he was quite handsome and pleasant to look at, he wasn't her type.

Judging a person by their outward appearance was too vulgar and one-sided. She preferred to evaluate them by their bank account balance; there was a certain beauty in the numbers.

The most expensive thing on Lin Li seemed to be the phone in his hand, so he was eliminated.

Taking out a bottle of mineral water and pouring it over her head to simulate sweat, the woman continued taking her thirst-trap photos.

Lin Li hadn't forgotten his task either. He first went to the equipment area and tried out the barbells, dumbbells, and other equipment, then frowned slightly.

His current strength was completely different from a month ago, but that was compared to himself. In terms of explosive power alone, he was far from superhuman. Whether it was Qi and Blood or his comprehensive recovery ability, they mostly enhanced his endurance.

Although he had [Charge] to help him, without any training and not knowing the proper techniques for exerting force, Lin Li wasn't confident he could surpass these massive muscle bros in using this equipment.

Most fitness exercises couldn't be completed with just the strength of the right hand; they required full-body coordination. His overly prominent right-hand strength might even negatively affect his overall form.

"First time at the gym?" A burly man returning his equipment put it down, took off his Bluetooth earphones, and asked Lin Li with a smile.

Lin Li looked down. No white socks, no full beard, no buzz cut. He didn't look like a gay man, just a genuinely helpful big bro. So he nodded: "Yes."

"For your first time, I recommend you start with this..."

Zhai Kai really started seriously instructing Lin Li on how to work out.

He was genuinely enthusiastic.

"...Thanks, bro. But, bro, can I spar with you? I want to see the gap between us."

Lin Li listened and nodded from the side. After the other party finished speaking, he got straight to the point.

He had figured out a way: they could just compete using only their right hands.

Hearing this, Zhai Kai whipped off his tank top, then rolled up the legs of his loose shorts, forcing them into "briefs" to reveal his muscular leg muscles. Then he started striking bodybuilding poses in front of Lin Li.

"Keep it up. As long as you train hard for a few years, you'll have a chance to look like me," Zhai Kai said proudly.

Lin Li: "..."

*That's not the kind of sparring I meant.*

"Bro, by the way, can your hand reach here?"

Noticing that the other guy's biceps were almost as big as his head, Lin Li curiously poked the exact center of Zhai Kai's back.

"I can't reach it!" Zhai Kai said very proudly. "This is the badge of honor in bodybuilding. Only true strongmen absolutely cannot reach it."

"Awesome," Lin Li didn't hold back his praise.

Then Zhai Kai immediately lowered his voice and handed Lin Li a bottle of Florida Water: "See that mosquito bite in the middle? Just a little below where you poked. Help me scratch it, and spray some bug repellent while you're at it. Thanks."

Lin Li: "?"

The most helpless person in the world had been found, and the source of the Florida Water scent in the gym had also been found.

Perhaps speedrunning hell didn't require sprinkling itching powder on an armless old man; a massive gym bro could achieve the exact same effect.

After helping out with this small favor, Lin Li spoke up: "Bro, can I arm wrestle you?"

Many gym machines required full-body strength, where Lin Li didn't have much of an advantage, so he wanted to try arm wrestling, which relied purely on right-hand strength.

Lin Li felt he should have a decent chance of winning in this area.

"Sure, I'll give you a forty-five-degree angle advantage," Zhai Kai readily agreed upon hearing this. Seeing Lin Li's skinny arms and legs, he immediately spoke with confidence.

Lin Li didn't say a word.

The two went to a dining table inside the gym. A few guys nearby were injecting themselves with "technology" (steroids).

Lin Li was quite cautious. Having looked up the best way to exert force in arm wrestling, he seriously got into position. The guy opposite him was much more relaxed, casually placing his hand on the table.

Their hands clasped together at a 45-degree angle, making it very difficult for Zhai Kai to exert force.

"Bro, when I say start, we start," Lin Li took a deep breath, activated [Charge], and said at the same time.

"Okay." Zhai Kai was very relaxed, his body still not tensed up, though he got slightly more serious, staring at their hands.

"Three—Two—Start!"

*Whoosh—*

In an instant, the other party's hand was slammed firmly onto the table by Lin Li.

[...and achieve victory or recognition (2/10)]

"Champion! We are the champions! We will, we will rock you!" *Even being this cheap completes the task? As expected of my system! Pure bastard!* The powerhouse Lin Li excitedly stood up, raised his arms, and cheered loudly.

Zhai Kai: "?"

*I didn't even exert any force!*

"Where's the 'one'? Where's the 'one' in the countdown just now?" he asked, his eyes wide.

"I am the 'one'," Lin Li explained.

Their group chat name "Three People and One Dog" hadn't even been changed yet. If he wasn't the "one," what was he?

Zhai Kai: "???"

*Bastard!! What a bastard!!*

*I enthusiastically taught this newbie how to work out, and this is the betrayal I get in return!*

This was Zhai Kai's darkest day.

*People aren't what they used to be! You can know a person's face... but you can't know their heart!*

*(End of Chapter)*